I liked you conclusion:

Conclusion:
The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a
Prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you're
Drunk enough to go get tattooed.

Your wife wants a divorce, you need a lawyer; tattooes get infected, you need hospital help;

I think I stick to aquavite, too drunk for prositutes and tattooes

By the way, when is the dealine to nominate you for next year's nobel price in economey?