God noooooo! Nooooo! God help us! It's the return of the son of the remake of the zombie

AMERICAN BULLS - CANADIAN TIRE - TIME MACHINE !!!

Some of you may remember my investigative journalism last year on the complete and utter scam that is American Bulls. American Bulls is the National Enquirer of stock predictors. Elvis predicts Bigfoot inc. will rise, mutate, and overturn cemetery headstones.

In a nutshell - they are only good at PREDICTING THE PAST.

Pardon me if I repeat myself: "In a nutshell - they are only good at PREDICTING THE PAST."

You've probably noticed that impressively, you are also 100% excellently superb at predicting the past.

What American Bulls does is only register for the running record their PREDICTION for what is happening today after today's stock trading IS ALREADY FINISHED. They count their prediction as describing what happened from yesterday to earlier today. In summing up their own performance, their "prediction" is a statement on what they see happening today, September 3rd, based on the stock action of September 2nd.

One small detail: the trading for September 3rd is already finished. Naturally, based on this modus operandi, their "prediction" for KXL on September 3rd was right on the money! Wow! Yeah, and I predict that for lunch earlier today I had a cheese sandwich. Another perfect "prediction."

Sorry, the caps lock key must have been sticking a little earlier there. I followed Proto's advice and got a little sap-covered in the process.

To reiterate (in case I sound a little undecided): American Bulls does their prediction track record only on after-the-fact data. Follow them for a couple of days and keep track of what shows up in their running prediction history vs. the time of their "prediction".

Their site has only 3 functions:

1) suck $35/month out of your bank account, and/or

2) sell ads for $$$, and/or

3) give aneurysms to engineers and math people like me, or actually to anyone equipped with the equivalent of a "Bob's Tool and Die" bikini calendar and a wall clock.

Another way of looking at it is - suppose for 2 milliseconds that American Bulls wasn't a complete scam. Their "prediction" track record is so utterly amazingly stupendously superb that you would be guaranteed to make 2 bazillion quadrillion dollars in only a few months of trading if you followed their advice. If it was for real, we all would eagerly have invested $40 each at the beginning of the year, and we would all be absolute bazillion quadrillionaires now. Notice: this did not happen.

Reason: American Bulls does not do prediction. They do "prediction".

Using the American Bulls "prediction" system, I predict that yesterday McCain will choose as his running mate a complete lightweight from Alaska - the governor, in fact. Tomorrow you can look to see if my "prediction" came true.

Okay, for entertainment purposes only, here are my past posts covering the subject:

1

2

3

Pardon me, but if I see one more half-serious reference to American Bulls here, I am going to have 2 aneurysms, with the second one thrown in for good measure.

The prospect of them "apologizing" for not "predicting" KXL's stock action correctly is on a par with the National Enquirer apologizing for incorrectly predicting that the statue of Abraham Lincoln would get up and walk to the chemist's to buy drops for nasal drip. Neither apology will happen and even then they'd both be worthless.

Now pardon me while I step into my amazing Canadian Tire American Bulls Time Machine (aisle 37) and revisit a certain tree Proto introduced me to.