For  your thoughts...
Why  are you here if you feel that way? 
What  is it that you are looking for to have such considerations?
You  have had the same sentiments for as long as I can remember and wonder what it is  that ties you here.
Why  do you torment yourself,  if you feel what e.Digital does is a worthless effort?
Where's  the  foresight that will not allow you to eject form e.Digital,   considering your technical background, and thoughts of e.Digitals ?
I know why I'm here, why are you here? 
doni