Someone had posted this long ago. I was clearing up an old lap top and came upon it. Thought it might cheer you up...

Gil...

IF ONLY LIFE WAS BACKWARDS:...

"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean life is though allright. It takes a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it, a death? What's that a bonus?

I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first; get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy. Go collect your pension, then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work for forty years until you are young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to the primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, and then you finish off as an orgasm."