Jay Leno: "Well, it looks like the government is going to bail out Citigroup, yet they don't want to bail out the auto companies. See, I don't think this is fair. I mean, blue collar guys who make our cars, they don't get the bailout. But the white collar guys on Wall Street, they get the bailout. You know what I think we should do? I think they should work together. I think the guys in Detroit should keep making the cars, and the guys on Wall Street should be making the license plates."

David Letterman: "I heard today that the Federal government was raising, like, $40 billion to bail out Citigroup. ... Honestly, when you think about it, who doesn't really feel sorry for credit card companies?"

David Letterman: "Down in Washington, DC, the Capitol Hill Christmas tree arrived." And there is "no surprise here. You know, they've got to decorate the tree. So the contract to decorate the tree, a $10 billion ornament contract, went to Halliburton."