TODAY'S DISCOVERY, TOMORROW'S FUTURE
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Message: Up....
I don't know why these days of being stuck inside get me in so much poo...
After the last session with the dust on the TV ..I cracked the door and pinned this list of rules on the door ...
I heard her tromping up from the basement so I quickly locked the door again...
I'll wait for her reaction..I'm sure she will understand..
Portee..
The Man Rules
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
I need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear me complaining about you leaving it down.
1 Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1.. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let me be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to me with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what I do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything I said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask me.
1. If something I said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, I meant the other one
1. You can either ask me to do something
Or tell me how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do I.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. I have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
I do that.
1. If I ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," I will act like nothing's wrong.
I know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When I have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask me what I'm thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football
or Hockey.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can -
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
I need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear me complaining about you leaving it down.
1 Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1.. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let me be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to me with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what I do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything I said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask me.
1. If something I said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, I meant the other one
1. You can either ask me to do something
Or tell me how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do I.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. I have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
I do that.
1. If I ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," I will act like nothing's wrong.
I know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When I have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask me what I'm thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football
or Hockey.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh.
Portee.....
JEEZ...!! I smell smoke...!!!
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