K gentlemen, you asked for it. I normally don't wish people to know me as I really am, an anti social, work avoiding, bum.

A) Born Oct 3, 1923, SF California.

B) forced to read and write before entering kinder by an ogre of a father. For some reason I had trouble remembering "S" in the alhabet. After losing patience, my father explained it simply to me, he said "S stands for spanking", odd but I very quickly learned it?

C) Being able to learn fairly easily, I was bored in school and as a result never paid much attention nor did homework, so ended with almost straight "D's & F's

E) As a result of the above,. there was a co-ordinated effort to successfully shanghai me into the US Navy.

F) Most of my class were sent to Pearl Harbour just in time to join history, I was sent to military school, Bombardier and Bombsight overhauling. I ended up as a Master horizontal bombardier, 11 mil average.

G) Next I found myself in the Guadalcanal campaign on Aug 11, 1942. From there I bounced around various Islands to the Philipines then on to old China.

F) I was shanghaied into more schools, returned to the Pacific just in time to be a passive observer of the Atomic tests at Bikini.

G) Returned to old China, for the time of my life. I spent weeks in the Forbidden city all by myself, just exploring and going through the Royal museum. I could handle priceless artifacts etc. with no-one around. Many days I ate my lunch on Coal Hill, under the tree where the last of the Mings hung himself. I immersed myself in true history.

I was able to wrangle navigation flights to all parts of China, from the Gobi, the Shensi Pyramids, the great Wall etc. and holed up Peking. In short I was in heaven.

H) Returned to the Us for one year Naval electronic trainig then left the service.

I) I entered College for Premed training, then after a week of intensive psychological testing found that I was unsuited to be a general practioner, research ok. I needed constant challenges, I get bored too easily, my fatal flaw.

J) The new USAF came to my rescue by asking me If I wanted to be an Officer and pilot . I accepted the test and was accepted. I later found that there were over 2000 applicants for my class of 25 cadets, sheesh talk about luck

K) Finished my service obligation quickly,. then, temp. being a member of the society I joined the US Border Patrol. I was stationed at Mc allen Texas.

L) A friend and I then decided to do some exploring, so we went to Mexico. We backpacked From Colima to Acapulco along the coast, there were no roads then. We were getting into condition to tackle the Yucatan / Quintana Roo jungles to look for Mayan ruins.

We spent six months living off of the jungle and actually did find a small Pyramid which was duly reported.

M) Went to Canada on the Spruce Worm project and promptly had thee major aircraft accidents, two at Bathurst, the last one finished off my beautiful aircraft at Fredricton by taking out the international tel line.

M) Returned to Mexico to recuperate and later to head to Brasil , where a friend had wrangled a land grant on one of the upper tributaries of the Amazon.

N) Unfortunately, I met my future wife who blew all of my plans to -----. I soon found myself involved in a Formal Old Spanish courtship, which included serandes, strolling around the plaza wth Duennas, formal presentation to the family, and waiting for two years for the priest to give permisison, he wanted five.

In between times I had to secure official permission to marry a Mexican gal by the Mexican gov't.

O) After getting married in a full 2 hr Church ceramony I decide that I had to feed my new wife and so started looking for treasures. I found enough to keep eating regulary. The biggest that I found was an 8 mule packtrain of freshly minted 8 Reales that had been stolen then buried. The mules in that area generally packed 45 kilos on each side.

P) I then started on the trail of lost Jesuit mines, especially the legendary Tayopa. It had been lost in the uprising of the 1630's. since then many had searched for it, many losing their lives over the 400 years. I was successful, I now own it, and 3 others.

In the process I found myself exploring presently still unknown barrancas, it was fun. except for two shootouts with bandidos. I often spent weeks at a time completely by myself except for the mule.

I uncovered the plot by the Jesuits to take North America away from spain with the help of the Dutch, the actual reason they were expelled.

I also managed a few trips to the Pacific and China. In the Pacific I was invited to a royal 'Long Mary Kai Kai' broiled young girl. I explained to my host that while I dearly loved yong, broiled girls, an evil witch doctor had placed a curse on me so that I couldn't eat any, sniff sigh,.. He understood and sympathized with me - I saved face.- yes, it is illegal there now, but ---

During this time I was occaisionally forced to work to keep my lovely bride eating adequately in order to keep her looking like a female should look like. I did Assaying, flying, prospecting, etc., etc. among other things.

I was duly elected into the Elete Exploreres club, for one such as I, it was a dream come true. I was also invited to enter Mensa, however, after the preliminaries I never did.

Soooo there you have it, a complete bum and antisocial expatriate. Hmm what are the requirements for Canadian citizenship? snicker.

Don Jose de La Mancha el *Tropical Trampo