I think I have found the author of our TFSA documents. It's long and tedious but I found it fun. If you do read it, no need for thumbs up. I actually rewrote it by hand and then typed it. Big effort, like your efforts on our NOT Forum.

vermillion.

'Twas The Night Before Christmas

"Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurinal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including the species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood burning calorie apparatus, persuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas.

The prepubescent siblings, comfortably esconded in their respective accomodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit, confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums. My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal head coverings, were about to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the arenaceous exterior portions of the ground there ascended such a cacaphony of dissonance that I felt compelled to arise with alacrity from my place of repose for the purpose of ascertaining the precise source thereof.

Hastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers sealing the fenestration, noting thereupon that the lunar brilliance without, reflected as it was on the surface of a recent crystalline precipitation, might be said to rival that of a solar meridian itself - thus permitting my incredulous optical sensory organs to behold a miniature airborne runnered conveyance drawn by eight diminutive specimens of genus Rangifer, piloted by a minuscule, aged chauffeur so ebullient and nimble that it became instantly apparent to me that he was indeed our anticipated caller. With his ungulate motive power travelling at what may possibly have been more vertigenous velocity that patriated antlered predators, he vociferated loudly, expelled breath musically through contracted labia, and adressed each of the octet by his or her respective cognomen - "Now Dasher, Now Dancer..." et. al. - guiding them to the uppermost exterior lever of our abode, through which structure I could readily distinguish the concatenations of each of the 32 coven pedal extremities.

As I retracted my cranium from the erstwhile location, and was performing a 180-degree pivot, our dintinguished visitant achieved - with utmost celerity and via a downward leap - entry by way of a smoke passage. He was clad entirely in animal pelts soiled by the ebony residue from oxidations of carboniferous fuels which had accumulated on the walls thereof. His resemblances to a street vendor I attributed largely to the plethora of assorted playthings which he bore dorsally in a commodious cloth recepticle. His orbs were scintillant with reflected luminosity, while his submaxillary dermal indentations gave every evidence of engaging amiability. The capillaries of his molar regions and nasal appurtenance were syngerized with blood which suffused the subcutanideous layers, the former approximataely the coloratin of Albion's floral emblem, the latter that of the Prunus avisim, or sweet cherry. His amusing pink - and supralabials resembled nothing so much as a common loopknot, and their ambient hirsuti facial adornment apeared like, small tabular and columnar crystals of frozen water.

Clenched firmly between his incisors was a smoking piece whose grey fumes, forming a tenuous eclipse about his occiput, were suggestive of a decorative seasonal circlet of holly. His visage was wider than it was high, and when he waxed audibly mirthful, his corpulent abdominal region undulated in the manner of impectinated fruit syrup in a hemispherical container. He was, in short neither more nor less than an obese, jocund, multigenerian gnome, the optical perception of whom rendered me visibly frolicsome despite every effort to refrain from so being. By rapidly lowering and then elevating one eyelid and rotating his head slightly to one side, he indicated that trepidation on my part was groundless.

Without utterance, and with dispatch, he commenced filling the aforementioned appended hosiery with various of the aformentioned articles of merchandise extracted from his aforementioned previousy dorsally transported cloth recepticle. Upon completion of this task, he executed an abrupt face, placed a single manual digit in lateral position juxtaposition to his olfactory organ, increased his cranium forward in a gesture of leave taking and forthwith effected his egress by renegotiating (in reverse) the smoke passage. He then propelled himself in a short vector onto his conveyance, directed a musical expulsion of air through his contracted oral sphincter to the antlered quadrupeds of burden, and proceeded to soar aloft in a movement hitherto observable chiefly amontgthe seed-bearing portions of a common seed.

But, I overhead his parting exclamation, audible immediately prior to his vehiculation beyond the dimlite visability. "Ecstatic Yuletide to the planetary constituency, and to that self same assemblage, my sinceres wishes for a salubriously benificial and gratifyingly pleasurable period between sunet and dawn."

Author Unknown.