Just for fun

I read this on line today and put my own PTSC spin on some of it.

What directors generally do: festoon their meager accomplishments with business gobbledygook to make them sound more important

In Transition

A change from one state of being to another; recession variation: collecting unemployment compensation. Example: "Since getting the boot, I've been in transition." Synonym: doing some consulting.

Brand

Put a good face on. Example: "Okay, so we screwed the sharholders again by failing to follow those finicky SEC regulations. How should we brand it?"

Space

Industry or field. Example: "I'm in the creating of convuluted IP contracts space”

Go Offline

Pester me about this after the meeting — or preferably never. "Could we go offline to discuss the $20 million underpayment to your account”

End of the Day

Formerly 5 to 5:30 p.m., now defined as an uncertain point in the future when everything magically turns out okay. Example. "At the end of the day, we will just issue another PR hope that the shareholders believe we are really doing something for them."

Transparent

Open about the facts, but not to be confused with honest. Example: "We've been totally transparent about the 15% fee; we disclosed it on page 37."

Can't Wrap One's Head Around

Unwilling to get into the details or deal with the facts; intellectually lazy. Example: "I can't wrap my head around all these losses; Let's hire another consultant and let them worry about."

Bandwidth

Money, staff, computing capacity or other resources. Example: "He lacks the bandwidth to know a good acquisition from a bad one."

Low-Hanging Fruit

Easy to get, though in the end, often not worth the effort. Example: The shareholders are low-hanging fruit for our next choice of overpaid underqualified CEO."

Human Capital

Human Resources, previously Personnel. Example: "Human Capital is located next to the revolving door."

Skill Set or Fit

Qualifications, generally modified by the words "wrong" or "bad," and most often used by Human Capital staffers as an excuse for not hiring somebody. Example: "His inability to speak in tongues obviously makes his skill set wrong for the director position."

Impact, formerly ecological, but now applicable to anything. Example: "Dumping his shares had a significant footprint on our shareprice."

"failure cascade", a "sequence of bad stuff happening." "Bus factor," is a measure of how much the company would suffer if person X got hit by a bus. Example: "That person has a minus five bus factor.”