What does Toronto have that Montreal doesn't?
Black and white photos of their past Stanley Cup.

Why don't the Leafs drink tea?
Because the Canadiens have all the cups.

What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
They both look good until they hit the ice.

Why did the Maple Leafs enforcer retire early?
He was ice fishing and got run over by the zamboni!!!

The Toronto Maple Leafs have a new coach from North Korea.
Win Sum Soon

Q: What happens when a Toronto Maple Leafs player gets Alzheimers disease?
A: His IQ goes up!

Q: Why did the Toronto Maple Leafs player scale the glass partition?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: What do you call 10 Toronto Maple Leafs players standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

Q: What did the Leafs player say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag)
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"

Q: What does a Leafs player say when you blow in his ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"

Q: How do you make a Maple Leafs player laugh on Monday morning?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!

Q: If a Toronto Maple Leafs player and a Ottawa Senators player are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The Ottawa Senators player. The Toronto Maple Leafs player has to stop to ask for directions.