Subject: Hell Explained

> The following is an actual question given on a University of
>Washington chemistry mid-term.
> The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor
>shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we
>now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
>
> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
>(absorbs heat)?
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law

>(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
>variant.
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
>we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
>at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
>soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As
>for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions

>that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you
>are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is
>more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
>than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and

>death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
>increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the
> volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
> temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
>Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
> This gives two possibilities:
> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
>souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
>until all Hell breaks loose.
>
> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
>in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
>over.
>
> So which is it?
> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
>year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and
>take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
>two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has
>already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
>frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
>therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence
>of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh
>my God."
>
> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"