A question on a University of Washington Chemistry mid-term. The professor felt that the answer provided by one student deserved to be shared.

QUESTION: Is HELL exothermic (giving off heat) or endothermic (absorbing heat)?

One student wrote the following.

First we have to know how the mass of HELL changes with time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into HELL and also the rate at which they are leaving.

I think that we must assume that once a soul gets into HELL, it is not going to leave, subsequently the mass of HELL must be increasing.

As for how many souls are entering HELL, most religions of the world today consider that if you are not a member of their particular religion then your soul will surely go to HELL.

Since there are many religions in the world today and the majority of people belong to only one religion, we must assume that the great majority of souls must then be going to HELL.

With birth and death rates increasing as they are, we can expect the number of souls in HELL to increase exponentially. Now; we must look at the rate of change of the volume in HELL because 'Boyl's Law' states that in order for the temperature and pressure in HELL to stay the same, the volume of HELL would have to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1) If HELL is expanding at a slower rate at which souls are entering , then the temperature and pressure in HELL will keep increasing until, 'all HELL breaks loose'.

2) If HELL is expanding at a faster rate than the rate at which souls are entering, then the temperature and pressure in HELL will keep dropping until, 'HELL freezes over'.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given me by Theresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a frosty day in HELL before I sleep with you", and taking into account that I slept with her last night then I must conclude that number 2 is true and HELL is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollory to this theory is that since HELL has now frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and therefore must be extinct. ................... This leaves only HEAVEN thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which must explain why, last night, Theresa kept shouting," OH MY GOD".

The student received an 'A'.

( It's start of a long weekend whats' a guy to do).